Comments on Hit Self-Destruct: Making Movies

Don't worry. I have total contempt for them, but i...

2008-05-12T12:20:00.000+12:00

Don't worry. I have total contempt for them, but it's a cheery contempt, that makes me want to cure their obvious condition by smacking them in the head with my healing stick. It's basically a 2X4 that I wrote "healing stick" on with a magic marker and not, in fact, a euphemism.

Upon rereading it's fairly obvious you were being sarcastic. As a professional jackass, who practically makes a living being sarcastic, I should have known. I am a fool. I'm man enough to admit it. I mean, just look at the size of my healing stick.

It seems quite obvious that we agree completely. Let's have a round of high-fives. In response to Doom, Resident Evil, and Far Cry not picking up the ample slack left by the games themselves, I'd say just take a look at their IMDB pages. You'll quickly notice the level of talent involved is, to put it kindly, crap. I don't think I have to go into some sort of insane , rambling diatribe about Uwe Boll to get that point across. This picture pretty much sums up how he feels about people who pay to see his movies.

Good news! The director of Doom is currently directing Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li! I can't wait to see her thighs in real life.

Maybe not total contempt. That may have bee...

2008-05-12T08:15:00.000+12:00

Maybe not total contempt. That may have been harsh.

To respond point-by-point now (sorry, I'm kind of ...

2008-05-12T08:09:00.000+12:00

To respond point-by-point now (sorry, I'm kind of in a hurry and will try and give your broader point the time it deserves later):

Games have of course relied on the language of film to tell a story, which is one reason why it's so redundant to turn them into movies. Like you said, we're already watching MGS as it is.

And yeah, I agree that most game stories are bad, but never once has the transition from game to movie picked up the slack in that area. Doom? Resident Evil? Far Cry?

I was using "Oscar-worthy story" sarcastically -- it's a standard hyperbolic review accolade that of course means nothing. It's the kind of the thing that's awarded all the time by reviewers who don't actually have any worthwhile critical faculties. It's one degree of eloquence above "best story ever lol." It showed up most recently in IGN's GTA4 review.

On a similar note, I assure you I have total contempt for Aeris and her procession of mourners. Aeris should never be used as a serious example of anything.

I realized my previous post was incoherent, at bes...

2008-05-12T05:11:00.000+12:00

I realized my previous post was incoherent, at best. Let's give it another try, now that the fog in my mind has cleared.

Videogames borrow so heavily from the storytelling techniques of films it's embarrassing. It can be chalked up in a lot of ways to the move from 2D to 3D. Without a distinct visual language for games, developers automatically went to film and tried to be cinematic. MGS is a big culprit of this and while most people are so excited by the professional level of cinematography, I'm wondering if I should get some popcorn and a warm blanket while I'm wait for the next opportunity for me to actually play.

The main problem with taking a game and trying to translate it into a movie is that most stories in games are so terrible and unoriginal to begin with. Seriously, they suck. Usually, when someone tells me that a game's story is good I automatically append the words "for a game" to the end of the sentence.

You yourself sort of undermine your point about not needing film to validate games, by saying, "You see, we weren't engaging in meaningless first-review hyperbole when we claimed this was an 'Oscar-worthy story'." Your explicitly comparing a game's story to that of movies in order to validate them.

Also, can we stop dragging out Aeris' dead-ass, beaten-ass corpse every time the emotional impact of games is brought up? It happened more than 10 years ago and this is still the best example that gets pulled out every time. If that doesn't show the sad state of things, I don't know what does.

On a more positive note, GTA IV has a pretty good story... for a game.

2008-05-11T04:33:00.000+12:00

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